Best 60 Train Puns and Jokes for Train Lovers

Trains have been around for over 200 years, and so have Train Puns and Jokes about them. There’s more to trains than just being a fascinating mode of transportation. This hilarious compilation of train puns is certain to have the whole family in stitches on that long train ride. Here we’ve compiled some of the internet’s funniest examples of train puns, train jokes, and punny train captions.

Awesome Train Puns

1. My boss said to me, You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year? I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.
2. A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left the town by railway. It was an Ex-press train.
3. They finally convicted Thomas the Train. They found out he had a locomotive.
4. I received a compliment today as I boarded the train. The conductor said “first-class rear, standard front”.
5. I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
6. Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives
7. I wanted to be an engineer for the pacific railways. But they said they couldn’t train me.
8. No one would ever find out how hard he trained because he never got a platform to share it.
9. Did you hear about the train which used to carry bubblegum? We called it A chew-chew train
10. Trains never get angry cuz they’re always blowing off steam!
11. I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod. I guess I’m just a bad conductor.
12. Did you hear about the train station for coffee? It’s called An expresso!
13. Did you hear about the train that couldn’t perform? It was a huge case of stage freight.
14. Not to derail the conversation, but look at this view.
15. Keep your head in and don’t go off the track.
16. Everyone wants to ride the train but not everyone wants to lay the tracks.
17. I really need to get back on track
18. The railway leaves you speechless and then it turns you into the storyteller.
19. It’s been suggested that I have a one-tracked mind and have gone completely loco.
20. Like a train that holds the rail, never losing that track.

Train Puns for Instagram

1. Lost my train of thoughts
2. Driving trains is harder than steams!
3. I dunno if we’ll be able to keep this on track.
4. Your life is just a train track and you are the train.
5. I tried to get a job as a railway conductor, but they didn’t think I had enough training.
   How do locomotives hear? Through their engineers.
6. It’s hard to find anyone with more focus than a conductor. They have complete tunnel vision.
7. How does a train avoid detection? It covers its tracks.
8. I once asked a conductor how many times a train he was on had gotten derailed. He told me it was hard to keep track.
9. Why do trains take so long to arrive on Halloween? They’re running with a skeleton service.
10. You can always tell when a train driver is stressed because they bite the rails.
11. The conductor was right in the middle of her presentation when she lost her train of thought. Embarrassed, she quickly disembarked from the room.
12. Did you know that train conductors make great thieves? They’re really good at covering their tracks.
13. I was able to pick up a few railway buffers for cheap the other day. I took advantage of an end-of-the-line sale.
14. It’s always great working with a train conductor. They’re always ready to take one for the steam.
15. What does a monster see when it sees a train full of passengers? A chew chew train.
16. Conductors can be quite intimidating when you get them angry. Make sure you don’t yank their train!
17. It’s a freight day to go for a ride on a train.
18. If you spend too much time walking on railroad tracks it might leave you feeling run down.
19. The conductor has never missed a day of work in over 20 years on the job. He was there come train or shine.
20. Everyone seems to have a crush on the train conductor. They’re quite at-track-tive.

Train Jokes for Adults

1. There’s a guy I know who has been a big fan of monorails since he was little. I guess he’s just really into one-liners.
2. The train conductor worked hard and got offered a promotion. It was a tram-endous opportunity.
3. The conductor was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.
4. We ended up canceling our trip because all of our plans went down the train.
5. Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning.
6. Train conductors are known for their drinking. They can just keep chugging.
7. Wow, you really have to hand it to ticket inspectors. (That’s it. That’s the joke.)
8. Railroad workers need to be sure they always keep their train of thought, or else they might go down the wrong track and get someone hurt.
9. I wanted to put together this list of funny train puns a while ago, but I just kept getting sidetracked.
10. Even the toughest train engineer needs a brake to let off some steam.
11. A railroad conductor needs to make sure he doesn’t go down the wrong track and lose his train of thought.
12. No matter what, the train I regularly take home is always late. It’s a slowcomotive.
13. Train conductors are clever and known for their engine-uity.
14. The train conductor was feeling silly and decided to wear platform shoes to work.
15. I’ve always been a big fan of a funny one-liner. I guess that’s why I like monorails so much!
16. Being a conductor is more difficult than it looks. Every detail needs to be kept track of.
17. The conductor kept telling me funny train puns, and it was hard to keep a freight face.
18. Teachers and railroad security are more similar than you might think. One of them trains the mind, while the other one minds the trains.
19. I finally figured out why you always try to drive me crazy. You have a locomotive.
20. Why did the ghost get fired from his job at the railroad? He couldn’t coordinate the skeleton service.

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